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I love being married to my best friend. I can tell him anything because half the time he does not hear me.

Free and Funny Family Ecard: I love being married to my best friend. I can tell him anything because half the time he does not hear me.

To my daughters

Dear Daughters, Should I ever learn you've been twerking anywhere, at any time, I will learn to do it myself and make sure I chaperon every single dance you ever go to. Love, Mom Too bad my mom already tries to twerk and I'm an adult

...the next time your curious...go fuck yourself. Shouldn't be too hard..you've fucked every guy you met..just like your mom hence why you dad walked out

"I'm afraid I can't go. I've already taken off my bra so I'm in for the night." Totally me

Cat-Friend vs Dog-Friend... You will cry from laughing so hard!!!!   Love it!  YES!

If Your Friends Acted Like Your Pets You Wouldn't Keep Them Around

Cat-Friend vs Dog-Friend This is awesome. haha im a dog person. dogs are better than cats Helmberger

Pepsi is not ok.

The most awesome images on the Internet

Repeat after me: Diet Pepsi is NOT an acceptable substitute for Diet Coke! Diet Pepsi is NEVER OK! Gimme my Diet Coke!

I don't like making plans for the day, because then the word 'premeditated' gets thrown around in the courtroom.

If Don't Stop Believin' starts playing and the person you're with doesn't sing along, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.oh how I love me some Journey!

Hahaha SO funny. Awkward but hilarious :D

teenagerposts

Seriously though! I did not choose the Vag life! The Vag life chose me.

Yup...

Yup...

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