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I can actually hear your words being misspelled while you are speaking to me. Some people you just know.

According to the BMI chart my weight is fine... I'm just too short.

According to the BMI chart my weight is fine. I'm just too short.WAY too short. lol My life story!

I may be on a high horse, but I earned my seat up here. Stop trying to drag me down to your level.

Free and Funny News Ecard: I may be on a high horse, but I earned my seat up here.

He said 'I don't know why you wear a bra. You've got nothing to put in it.' I said 'You wear pants don't you?'

Funny Confession Ecard: I cannot formulate an expression using tangible words in any language that would even begin to express how much you piss me off.

Or a photo of the Executive whose bonus is based upon the tax break you are funding for his industry

For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck, the least they could do is send me a picture of the ghetto family I'm supporting to hang on my fridge!

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for realz!

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know what I've been through! Seriously though, I think I'm the only one who can put together the perfect milk-to-cereal ratio.

So True

I hate it when I think I’m buying ORGANIC vegetables, but when I get home I discover they’re just REGULAR donuts. Wise Van Berkom Z.

Lol late night snacks

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I have a condition that makes me eat when I can't sleep. It's called Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia.