I feel like this line right here. During this scene. Explains all anyone needs to know about the whole idea of BtVS. Men dropping in to save the women, but they've already saved themselves. Thank you Joss Whedon.
It really makes me angry that Buffy didn't die with Spike. Whedon had been telling us that Buffy loved Spike in season 7, it was subtle, but there, and she didn't even contradict him in the end. She had the chance to prove that a slayer can love. And Spike said in season 5 that every Slayer wants to die at some point. This was Buffy's moment to die. The war was over, there were other slayers, those she loved were safe. Except for Spike. SHE SHOULD HAVE DIED.