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"I don't like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

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I correct bad grammar. My friend steals the English teacher's pencils and writes bad grammar with them.

Mornings. Mondays. Working.

I hate mornings. And mondays. And working. But other than that I'm entirely happy. So true. So true

A Strongly Worded Letter to People Who Obsessively Update Us On Their Workouts. #WeDontGiveA  #FUCK

A Strongly Worded Letter to People Who Go Too Hard at the Gym

Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, no one wants to hear about your workout. Tell us about your workout, Lauren

COLDS: Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for three days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold, and, clear the sinuses, and it's delicious too!

Story of my life! My house was clean yesterday - sorry you missed it sign - mom humor

Do you want to do something beautiful for God?... quote by Mother Teresa... Beautiful! Need to always remind myself of this!!

Do you want to do something beautiful for God? quote by Mother Teresa. Need to always remind myself of this!

Naughty one Fish two Fish Dr. Seuss

I dont give a fuck about a mouse.I dont give a fuck up on the house.I dont give a fuck here.I dont give a fuck there.I just dont give a fuck.

My Patience is usually thin, but only with people. Patience with my animals is obese.

yes I am, and I do, and I've passed the trait on to my children who do the same thing

Okay this is my life. Ill be sitting in math class and I'll be like HAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHA cause of something that happened like three years ago. That's the story of my life! My best friend and I look at each other and laugh. We get weird looks!