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funny quotes, clear history button on your vagina - Dump A Day

Truth.

I should start working out b/c I'd have been the first to die in the Hunger Games. No chance I'm eating any sort of crap I find in nature :)

One of my own-Funny Flirting Ecard: First date questions #37- 'Who is your favourite serial killer'?

One of my own-Funny Flirting Ecard: First date questions 'Who is your favourite serial killer'?

Funny

I'm always disappointed when a liars pants don't catch on fire!

Hiking is for people who can't handle their liquor!

Im outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios. erinmavrides Im outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios. Im outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios.

Work sucks. Now accepting applications for 'Sugar Daddy'.

I was and now she's in Heaven and I'm hoping to meet her some day and I'll still be the big sister only this time I'll not only be older.I'll REALLY be the BIG sister

Hate this because they're like "Hate who everyone in ths world pretends I don't exist." and I'm like "What's wrong?" A few minutes later "I don't want to talk about it." or "It's not any of your buisness."

So true, and one of my pet peeves! "If you don't want to talk about it, don't post vague status updates on FB, fishing for people to ask you what's wrong!

Ran into my ex...put it in reverse and hit him again...kind of want to do this...just sayin

recent favorite pictures on VisualizeUs - Bookmark pictures and videos that inspire you. Social bookmarking of pictures and videos. Find your pictures and videos.

Pretty much. Like oh, here, let me insult you and make you feel like shit and then pretend I didn't mean it and/or soften the blow with a "JUST KIDDING!". NO. Not ok.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: Saying just kidding is a way to tell the truth without getting punched in the face

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Funny Confession Ecard: I love my six pack so much I protect it with a layer of fat.

Not even going to say how I truly feel.

Thanks for showing up to the state-funded healthcare clinic with your Louis Vuitton purse, fresh mani and pedi, MAC lipgloss, hair weave, and Medicaid card.

Talking about how big your package is?

Shut up, I wear heels bigger than your dick. bahahahah i think i peed my pants when i read this

shit's about to get real

Nothing shows maturity better than a good public fight. Oh look, they turned on the caps lock. This is serious now.

lol no one wants to hear how much he/she does for you & how much you love them EVERY SINGLE DAY. Get a hobby.

ecards, profess love, significant other, daily basis, punch you in the face

For my 20 year old son.  Being married is awesome so find a nice girl and stay at the party. You don't have to sacrifice the fun you are having.

Funny Wedding Ecard: Getting married before the age of 25 sounds a lot like leaving a party before 10 PM to me. well-i-thought-it-was-funny

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