Explore Mosquitoes, Funny Things and more!

When you really want to slap do it and say "Mosquito!"

Not lying when I say this. Tonight my husband and I went to Newks. Sat outside. I look over at him and a mosquito is sucking his left cheek. I tenderly with love slap his face. I say mosquito because it really was! I so thought of this quote!

I mean Lolo loves you, Chris, but nothing beats unlimited Olive Garden breadsticks without gaining a pound or going into cardiac arrest.

So true . every guy thinks every girl's dream is to find the perfect guy . pshh, every girl's dream is to eat without getting fat.

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foodstamps - This is a sore spot for me! If I had foodstamps, I could afford lots of nicer things. The poor are better off than the working middle class - SAD

Or, to quote "Arsenic and Old Lace" "Insanity runs in my family, in fact it practically gallops!

from Isabella & Max Rooms

Man santa must haver been drunk last year because that same thing happened to me! Get it together santa.

Pretty Amazing

Ohhhh I fell for it! I've been told I'm very gullible. I will believe ANYTHING. haha if you say gullible slowly funny quotes funny quote funny quotes humor

Have you ever looked at someone and just known that the wheel was turning, but the hamster was dead?

Have you ever looked at someone & just known that the wheel was turning, but the hamster was dead?

It will help me "look" like less of a wino, but not necessarily help with "being" less of a wino.  haha

A wine glass for those who love wine. Closest thing to a never ending glass of wine I've ever seen. I want.

Happens to me all the time.

Wisdom for my children. Maybe it should be: You never know what you don't have until you clean your room. Then my girl might clean it to see what she think to purchase.

LOLSOTRUE - lolsotrue tumblr (funny,funny quotes,funny sayings,lolsotrue,lol,sotrue,witty,sarcastic,humor,teenagers,text,typography)

"I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button." That's my morning workout.

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