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Love is when someone asks for a starburst and you give them a pink or a red one. Brief acquaintance is when you ask for a starburst and you give them an orange one. Pure hatred is when someone asks you for a starburst and you give them a yellow one.

Source: Instagram user sillieflowers

Hilarious Weight-Loss Quotes to Instantly Feel Better About Your Diet

Hilarious Weight-Loss Quotes to Instantly Feel Better About Your Diet: Anyone who's ever tried to lose weight feels for you.

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I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you. I love you Brandon.

It said eating tacos everyday it didn't say just one kind of taco, so hard or soft that's a silly question

If you had to choose between eating tacos everyday or being skinny for the rest of your life - would you choose hard or soft tacos?

Never

My brother told me aliens and monsters lived under the bed.then the next morning I stuck my led off and hit the dog's leg and thought it was a monster's leg.from then on i would crawl to the end of the bed and take a flying leap out of my room :D

I ❤ U.

Me: I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass. Sherlock: *chuckles* I love you too.

For people who are sarcastic to the point where they can't even tell if they're kidding, or just a bitch.

When I saw this I thought of Syndrome from Incredibles. I thinking along the lines of, so you would marry Syndrome? Like, didn't he die? Why would this be a relatable thing people would pin? Anyway, I thought that was funny.

The tenth husband

9 out of 10 husbands agree their wives are always right. The one hasn't been seen since the study was done.He ran away and is now happy

I forget too. One night it was like 7:00 and I said "ok I'm gonna eat in 10 minutes". 10 minutes later I'm still on the couch so I tell myself "ok in 30 minutes I'll eat". I forgot. I literally went to bed in that time. I remembered when I woke up that I forgot to eat dinner.

I really laughed out loud on this one! This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? I just licked her face in case it's contagious ~ Joke All You Can

LOL – Doesn’t take long to get that ‘lived in’ look again!

Funny Clean House Joke - "Yesterday I cleaned my house, which is dumb because we still live here.

This happened to me today!! I have baby fever so bad my uterus was throbbing... THEN he cried LOUDLY!! Lmao

That's So Laughable! A baby just smiled at me and now I want.Nope, it's crying now. haha this is so me!

I NEVER forget to eat, but I definitely have days where I have eleven breakfasts and night lunch.

Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out - Love of Life Quotes

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Funny pictures about Man flu. Oh, and cool pics about Man flu. Also, Man flu.

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