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Men have 2 emotions, horny and hungry. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich.

Men have 2 emotions, horny and hungry. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich

Relationship, please

I know a couple people that do this. They have to be trying to convince themselves because they are not fooling anyone else.

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Dementors are here sucking the life from me. That's work, work sucks the life out of me. lol this is so me, if there's one thing that I dread most out of the week, it is going to work.

Coffee. Monday. Enough said!  ☕

sparks of the week: 9/22 -

And then she had the audacity to ask if I wanted regular or decaf. I said, ‘Honey, it’s Monday…don’t even play.

Two things...

Quote: Two things i know for certain in my life. I have big boobs My taste in music is wonderful

It just has to be perfect

I'm sorry my OCD made decorating the Christmas tree together unpleasant. Sounds like my house, EVERY year.

Oh yeah....and have monthly periods, grow and push out babies,drop them off at day care, pick them up from daycare, work out, eat well, feed the family, have a sex life, keep the house clean and YOU KNOW the list goes on and on....

Free and Funny Reminders Ecard: I missed the memo that said we ladies are now expected not only to hold down jobs but also to knit, craft, and bake from scratch again all while having washboard abs.


Free and Funny Sports Ecard: I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.

I appear to have invented a new sport it's called "Extreme Pinteresting", and I'm a black belt.

I appear to have invented a new sport. It's called "Extreme Pinning," and I'm a black belt.


Free, Cry For Help Ecard: Awww i'm sorry to hear that. Would you like me to get you a straw so you can SUCK IT UP?

slim waist, fat ass, cute face

I JUST DIED! But seriously though.hahahaha 😂 men expect a lot from women, we should demand/expect a lot from men too.