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You know your drunk when you swerve to miss a tree then realize it is the air freshener hanging from your mirror

Yep.

If you're talking to a guy and he's only staring at your boobs, just look at his package and squint a little.

??

I'm willing to play nice with you in the sandbox - Jokes, Memes & Pictures

18 Things People Always Get Completely Wrong About Emo Music

i have an allergy to bacon (pig)...and dairy intolerance...someone must've cursed me in a past life

I would NEVER wish a bacon allergy upon someone. Bacon is bacon.

You Don’t Need A Prince, But If You Would Like To Meet One… Select Your Prince Carefully…  Now Explain To Me Again Why Did Cinds Wanted To Marry This Guy? | Community Post: 12 Vital Truths For Girls Who Adore Their Princesses

Community Post: 12 Vital Truths For Girls Who Adore Their Princesses

"Says you are the love of his life - forgets what you look like and has to put a shoe on every girl in the kingdom" Prince Charming HA! SO much for Prince Charming!

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