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When life knocks you down. calmly get back up, smile and very politely say. "You hit like a Bitch.

Moms are better.

She'd be "the Mom! and not only smarter than Dad . smarter than any of Dad's friends too!

Women are helpless only while their nail polish is wet.  Even then, they could pull a trigger if they had to.

Lessons in Womanhood: You are only helpless while your nail polish is wet. Even then, you could pull a trigger if you had to.

I love my husband.

"I'm taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.This is so me!


funny stuff++ - marriage is betting someone half your shit that you will love them forever

If gas gets any higher, I'm cutting a hole thru the floor & Flintstoning this bitch.

Guess I'm not the only one that uses this. Actually it should be "Flintstone this bitch".

Just sayin

Adding "and shit" at the end of a sentence, can make anything sound thug. Example: "I was playing with my bubbles and shit.

Hysterical!  I'm getting one as soon as I have my own place again!

The Neighbors Have Better Stuff Doormat from Reed Wilson Design and Bourbon & Boots - this is too funny

ok so minus the words..this is funny..and especially true when you get exactly what its talking about #4eyed girl problems!

Wow, you really can’t see…

Hahahaha this happens everyday of my life. And because I have the Wayfarers, people are like "are your glasses real?" and I'm like "no, dumbass, my eyes are naturally this huge behind pieces of glass"