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Fails

my closet would be massive!!

My life would be amazing. Except for I guess it would be stealing & then the whole jail thing that would happen.

I need to remember this for next time I'm arguing. umm I mean explaining

Every single time

This made me laugh so hard! Probably because I have fallen down the stairs at least 20 times in my life.a couple of those times was actually walking UP the stairs.

Joss Whedon = genius.

"Remember to always be yourself. unless you suck." ~ Joss Whedon (I needed this because some people should NOT be themselves. They should grow the hell up.

this is my life...but then i just keep going so i'm known for weird "you had to be there" stories :P

"You know those stories you start out telling. and then you realize there's no point and you wonder, 'why am I telling this story'. It happens to me a lot.

Because people on the floor usually aren't hustling like cashiers! Couldn't stand working for them.

Funny Quote - Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Walmart but only 4 registers will be open - Funny Pictures, Quotes, Videos and More!

This is actually true.  I put bacon in my veggie burgers.

Bacon [noun] The main reason you are not a vegetarian. No, the ONLY reason I'm not a vegetarian.

Balls and brain.

The first testicular guard, the "Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974 That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

gotta love it

Some people really do have bad luck when it comes to thinking. I'm just gonna go with this.

haha maybe! Even though I do like voicemails every once in a while

I hate voicemails. I don't have a voicemail box for this reason. Either text me or I'll see that you called and call back when I get a chance.

i def do lol

10 years ago - this is SO true!then when I think about the reality that the were about 20 years ago.I feel really old!

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