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I would rather be in Europe right now, naked on a yacht, while destroying my liver

Win Lottery: Lottery Dominator - I actually like my job, but not as much as I would like being naked and drunk on a European yacht. - I could not believe I was being called a liar on live TV right after hitting my lottery jackpot!

Thank you babyyyy. I wish u could help but rn all u can help with is just being supportive amd keeping me awake

our paleo diet is a low carb diet by design. our paleo diet is a low carb diet by design. Simply removing processed foods will drastically reduce your carb intake to fuel weight loss. By limiting carbs to around wor (Low Carb Diet Funny)

You mean, now?? Because for some reason, everything is funny at the moment! ♊️

I call that "slaphappy." You get so tired, that you are to the point of being dazed and goofy and weird, all at the same time.

Whether you are having ideal relation or far from that, these humor quotes will really reflect your husband, so make sure you share these funny hilarious quotes with your hubby

You dont know a woman until u understand what shes not saying

You Don't know a woman until you understand what she's NOT saying to you. Yet you think you know me so well.

forgot how to door.

Doors

When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That's how closed doors work.

I am woman!!

Just a woman? Oh, hell no! I am a big cup of wonderful, covered in awesome sauce, with a splash od Bitch, and a dash of Crazy. You be sure to remember that!

Leah :( this is fucking me! :(

Waldo's actually not to hard to find. Neither is finding a potential boyfriend. GETTING a boyfriend is what's hard.

that says it all

No, I havent met mr. but i have met, mr liar mr player mr asshole & mr douchebag

Haha. That's our thing. I asked him if he was going to run yet after our first date with the kiddos. He said pretty much this.....Hehehe. Oooh I just like him.

That's our thing. I asked him if he was going to run yet after our first date with the kiddos. Oooh I just like him.

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