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You can take the girl outta Jersey BUT...

You can take the girl outta Jersey BUT.

"Heeee's a big pig *yup yup*, you can be a big pig too *AYE!*" The Lion King is one of the best movies ever!

Real friends will dress in drag and do the hula a distraction while you go kill your crazy uncle.

@McCall Christensen this reminds me of you! P.S. I miss  your beautiful face and I hope you're having a wonderful time in Hawaii!

: ) No, I don’t want to come to your dog’s birthday party … freak. My cat is getting married that weekend.

pink taco tuesday - Google Search

I alternate a robust diet and exercise regime with epic binges.

Sometimes I like to see how close I can get to wild, woodland animals because it makes me feel like a Disney Princess.

Funny Confession Ecard: Sometimes I like to see how close I can get to wild, woodland animals because it makes me feel like a Disney Princess.

Shots Shots Shots!

This is definitely my mom, the nurse, during flu season. She once forced a college boyfriend to get a flu shot the first time I brought him home with me.

Someone told me to grow up yesterday. I immediately banned that person from ever riding on my Unicorn.

"Someone told me to grow up yesterday. I immediately banned that person from ever riding on my unicorn." ecards ♡ Unicorns and Dinosaurs ♡

Hahahahaha.

How to curse out a kid: Shut the fudge up you little astronaut. What the helicopters are you doing? You son of a batch of cookies! That's how you cuss a kid out.

Bye bye Simba. | 18 Horrific Altered Disney GIFs That Will Give You Nightmares

18 Horrific Altered Disney GIFs That Will Give You Nightmares

The Lion King - Bloopers Outtakes. Actual bloopers from the cast while recording, and later animated! I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING.

Seriously, you're fucking knocked up. It's a baby, not a gnome or a potato or a triceratops. Stop with the 'expecting' shit.

i think on my pregnancy announcements, I'm going to say that. You know, I could have a velociraptor baby.

My gym just added a Beyonce dance class. I.AM.ALL.OVER.THIS.

How normal girls dance vs. How I dance. This is frighteningly accurate. Or how I THINK I look like when I dance vs. What I actually look like when I dance lol

The many others...... People wonder why I gave my kids the names I did. I HATED my name growing up, there was always at least one other Jessica in my classes. There's only two other Keegan's, and no other Joanna's in the kids school!!!!

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I automatically dislike anyone with my name because it feels like a competition and let's be honest. You're not winning that.

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