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I hate pants. Seriously if you show up at my house unannounced there is a strong possibility I'm not wearing pants. When the boy gets older I'm going to have to suck it up. The good news is he hates pants too right now!

Everyone gets a risk for falls!!!

When I'm drunk with my cell phone. You Get A Text! You Get A Text! You Get A Text! Everyone Gets A Text!

Funny Pictures Of The Day - 57 Pics

What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)

yeah.....(this is my newest motto......) sweet jaysus....that rox!
@Laura Sampson

I unleash the mother fucking fury on the people who use their caps lock inappropriately.


Do you ever think about all of the nice drunk girls you've met in bathrooms and wonder how they are doing? I miss you all

We hate everyone funny quotes quote bitch hate funny quotes girl quotes @Meg Christensen bahahaha!!

Why are we so unpopular? Because we hate everyone.yup, pretty much sums it up.


I call my cat a traitor because he will leave me to go cuddle with my sister.

T-Rex arms!

Relatable Post it's impossible to slowly tip toe around without activating your T-rex arms

This cracks me up cause it's so true ; Awkward!!!

People who hold the door open for you when you're still 20 yards away, forcing you into an awkward jog of gratitude. Hate this shit

Self loathing by Louie CK

The meal is not over when I'm full - Funny quote by Louis C.: "The meal is over when I hate myself." Why is this so true?


I hate when i think i'm buying organic vegetables and when i get home i discover they're just regular donuts.

A few other things as well but I'm pretty sure only those three people I care about are the ones allowed to know what I care about