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If I'm ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in.see if that works I want life support for Then try this


Sarcasm falls out of my mouth quotes quote lol funny quote funny quotes humor sarcasm stupidity humorous. (that was totally worth the laugh I just had)

Im not very nice when im hungry.

39 New Funny Quotes You're Going To Love. Hell hath no fury when I'm slightly inconvenienced and hungry

Hell hath no Fury like your Kid... --- repin, only links to pic :/ -- credit on photo: ReciteThis.com ~cm

Hell hath not fury like your kid catching you throwing away ANYTHING, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican drug lord. Or your husband.just sayin'.

Ha!  So true!

Camping: Where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person. That and picnics - never understood preparing food in your kitchen and then hauling outside to share with the bugs and the wind and lord knows what else.

victoriasonesecret: “This week was eat up with them ”

Fitness - Tap the pin if you love super heroes too! Cause guess what? you will LOVE these super hero fitness shirts!

I put my scale in the bathroom corner, and that's where that bitch will stay until she apologizes.

Palmentera Syndrome: when you suffer from continuous awesomeness.

When I saw this I thought of Syndrome from Incredibles. I thinking along the lines of, so you would marry Syndrome? Like, didn't he die? Why would this be a relatable thing people would pin? Anyway, I thought that was funny.

Why do people say chicken as a term for coward?  Have you ever met a chicken?  Those things will fuck you up.

Why do people say chicken as a term for coward? Have you ever met a chicken? ( They are pretty bad ass, I love my chickens)

Pretty accurate...spooky! #ParentingEcards

Pretty accurate...spooky! #ParentingEcards

I AM  hilarious.  I wish I could charge for rides

but I AM hilarious! I crack me up all the time. If anyone ever puts a camera in here I will be put away for laughing at nothing all the time. I cry hard and I laugh hard.

Being a baby is not easy…

Being a baby is not easy…