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So unbelievably true. If prison was out of the picture: murder. Murder EVERYWHERE.

When Mommy finally gets up to spank your butt, that's when you know... Shit just got real.

So, SO true. I remember when my Mom got off the couch, I had messed up.

a certain someone i know.

For all those that love to share the drama. Ever thought you have to share it on FB because you know in real life people just don't care to hear you moaning again?

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

My husband said I woke up and slapped him one night and the next morning I told him I had a dream he cheated on me.

This day sucks Balls. Bahahahahahahaha!!!!!! I REALLY LOVE WINE

how i feel a lot lol Roses are dead, violets are fine. This day sucks balls. I really love wine.

Wouldn't it be SO great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free ...and three sizes smaller? | Confession Ecard

Listen bitch, I'm being as polite as I possibly can. Hate being stuck on the phone with customer service !

Funny Breakup Ecard: Sorry, I'm not Adele. I don't wish the best for you nor do I want to find someone like you. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff.

Funny Breakup Ecard: Sorry, I'm not Adele. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff. Too funny

Happens every time

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I've been at work less than 30 minutes and already I am using the word Fuck like a comma

haha! i'm worried that if i give up drinking, i'll replace it with murdering.

i'm worried that if i give up drinking, i'll replace it with murdering. Except what it needs to say is if I give up drinking COFFEE!

I mean... Come on!!! For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck, the least they could do is send me a picture of the ghetto family I'm supporting to hang on my fridge.

For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck, the least they could do is send me a picture of the ghetto family I'm supporting to hang on my fridge!

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