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Reasons I haven't committed murder today: 1) I don't want to go to prison. ... yeah, that's all I got.

Logical proof that female = Iron Man! Unlock your inner Iron Man at Fitocracy.

My wrinkles are from laughter, Well, except those lines between my eyebrows... THOSE are my WTF lines & those fuckers are DEEP!

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: My wrinkles are from laughter, Well, except those lines between my eyebrows. THOSE are my WTF lines & those fuckers are DEEP!

Bathroom break

Teach Junkie - 60 Hilarious and True Teacher Confessions- Too true to be funny.

I Pretend To Like People Everyday. It's Called Being An Adult And THAT Is Why We Are Allowed To Buy Alcohol. | Cry For Help Ecard

Since I work at a liquor store and deal with stupid, rude people all day, this is particularly relevant. "I pretend to like people everyday. It's called being an adult and THAT is why we are allowed to buy alcohol." Some eCards

Sorry, my ears have reached maximum BS capacity. You'll have to f**k off now please. Thank you.

Free, Apology Ecard: Sorry, my ears have reached maximum bullshit capacity. You'll have to fuck off now please.

Free and Funny Workplace Ecard: This job is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received Raises, promotions and other signs of appreciation.

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