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AN unnamed club in the Chinese Super League aims to smash the world transfer record after it emerged they offered a really unfit, fat, lazy heavy drinking armchair guy £1 million per week in a deal that would dwarf Messi's and Ronaldo's salaries combined. #Carlos Tevez #chinese super league #cristiano ronaldo

Countdown to Pushing Brussels Sprouts to Side of Plate Begins

Dafty News Headlines:

Dafty News Headlines

Dafty News Headlines

A WEBSITE predicting which celebrities will die in 2017 has been slammed after it failed to list karpool TV show host James Corden, it has been revealed. #bruce forsyth #Celebrity Death List 2017 Website #James Corden #Kirk Douglas #Pope Benedict XVI #prince philip #Queen Elizabeth II #simon cowell #Vera Lynn

APPLE'S latest phone has sparked a flurry of controversy after the company announced their brand new iPhone 8 will be able to make normal phone calls, causing mayhem and disarray amongst its fans, it has emerged. #apple #iphone #phone

Kanye West Suffers 'Breakdown' After Burglars Refused to Rob Him

Relief as Peter Andre Asked NOT to Switch on Christmas Lights