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First That Jerk Cut Me Off In Traffic

First that stupid jerk cut me off in traffic, then he stole my parking space, and now his car's paint is on my key!

.HAHA. my life.

Every time I go out in public and see people I know.

I wish more people practiced the art of "pretending". My world would be sooo.much better;

Funny Confession Ecard: Raisin oatmeal cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

Anyone who knows me well, knows I pick the raisins out of my oatmeal raisin cookie and the the oatmeal cookie! mmmm, chocolate chip oatmeal cookies are yummm-o though :)

I could keep this kitchen clean if you people would just stop eating here. True story.

"I could keep this kitchen clean if you people would just stop eating here." - YOUR ECARDS - funny

"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

when you wake up PISSED. I've definitely woken up mad at the hubs because of something in a dream that he would never do in real life.

Im in love with my bed

ecard // i'm in love with my bed // alarm clock jealous whore // sleep

Ha!  As much as I may complain about my figure, I'd rather have curves then have a mans straight figure, anyday!!

To my big girls, if you're ever felt bad about your body, remember that Sir Mix-a-lot has never released a song called "Baby got hip bones"

I need a life soundtrack

I wish my life had background music so I could understand what the hell is going on : e-Card

Yep...

You have on sweats, no makeup and messy hair and suddenly it’s a reunion.

I'm not going to watch what I pin because you want to read something into nothing.  If I fucking like something then I will fucking pin it or like it if I fucking want to.  I don't even know how you read anything into that.  Damn this shit is getting so fucking old!!!!

from

I have a drama free life, but I swear some of my friends are still stuck in High school.

- Click image to find more Humor Pinterest pins

"Fun sized" is a lie. Less chocolate =less fun. BOOM and the truth is out!

When women ask you for your opinion

When women ask you for your opinion…

Funny pictures about When women ask you for your opinion. Oh, and cool pics about When women ask you for your opinion. Also, When women ask you for your opinion.

Day 5:  I am so incredibly thankful for the most supportive, smart, funny, witty, fun group of girlfriends anyone could ask for. @Megan Dunn @Megan Paddock @Sara Renkert @Chanel Yellowhair @Jamie Stevens @Jane Overbey @Kristy Thompson @Christi Hoopes @tara

friends (Thank you, my beautiful and VERY much missed Marton-Roldan ) How are you? And that wonderful girl of yours? The hubby? I'll NEVER forget you offering to lend him to me. ♥ friends,My Girls-,Quotes :

Fifty

Fifty Shades Of Funny: The Best Of The 50 Shades Of Grey E-Cards

Fifty Shades Of Funny: The Best Of The 50 Shades Of Grey (good thing I havent read it!

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