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the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person.is bat-shit crazy. SO TRUE

That awkward moment when you realize that you just punished your kid for acting exactly like you. Sorry mini me.

This was how it felt taking a picture of 8 kids..

Free and Funny Sports Ecard: I ate healthy and excercised today. I better fucken wake up skinny.

Freak Show Friday #8

I gotta remember this quote for next time someone's a smartass to me.

Funny Reminders Ecard: Fucktards, twatwaffles, cuntcakes, and nipple dicks are not tolerated here.

Better yet get a team of dogs and let them pull you in a wagon.After all, You PULL a wagon.pushing a wagon.well that is just unnecessary work for anyone.

Your ex asking to stay friends after you break up is like kidnappers asking to stay in touch

I want us to have a love like Romeo and Juliet.I'll pretend I'm dead and you can go kill yourself

Free and Funny Drinks/Happy Hour Ecard: Whiskey will turn you into Cinderella. You'll leave the house looking all fly and spend the night dancing away. But by the end of the night you're just a hot mess missing a shoe.

Logical proof that female = Iron Man! Unlock your inner Iron Man at Fitocracy.

Sometimes when people are talking to me I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them right in the face. BAHAHAHA ALL THE TIME!

Funny Confession Ecard: I'm going to eat what ever I want tonight because I cried at work today. Or because I got shit on at work today.

Free and Funny Weekend Ecard: I'm not a 'Ride or Die' chick. I have questions, like where are we going?

I never buy Girl Scout cookies because I don't carry cash! Now if I find a girl with this I will gain on thin mints