People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, "Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner." I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds. Carl Rogers - i love this
Incongruity can lead to a person to have high levels of anxiety. A person can maintain this state of Incongruence by a denial of ones experiences, a complete distortion of their experiences and by having a subliminal perception of experiences in life.
In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?