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I LOVE YOU When I' m bored, I send a text to a random number saying "I hid the body." No i dont fuck y

true that

funny best sayings life humorous hilarious quote - Collection Of Inspiring Quotes, Sayings, Images

faster than the speed of light

Funny Confession Ecard: Nothing faster than the speed of light. Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from a photo that makes her look fat. There really is an ecard for that!

Or like one of the three stooges slapping your face and head repeatedly!

I don't like spiders and snakes, but.act like a black belt when I walk into a spider web

This is exactly why I gave up sleeping in past 7 for Lent. It's been a struggle. Not sure I can keep it up after Easter though!

"Saying you'll wake up early in the morning to get something done, then in the morning convincing yourself it's not important." So true. Every day

you mean a minute?!

This is why my brain hurts at the end of every day. I have a 5 year old that is just now on this kick . a four year old . and a 3 year old who likes the word, "why.

Seriously!  Liking your own status is ridiculous...and annoys me immensely!  Obviously you like it or you wouldn't feel the need to post it...so don't go "liking" it, it's dumb...REAL DUMB!

this isnt funny the thought of someone high fiving themself energetically! is super funny

Gonna give this a try... landrew12

Today's housekeeping tip: Always keep several get well cards on the mantel. That way, if unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean.

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