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And I wouldn't get the best text messages EVER!!!

Alcohol because no great story started with someone eating a salad! Haha I want a sign like this

The funniest website in the world

Funny pictures about Timing Perfection. Oh, and cool pics about Timing Perfection. Also, Timing Perfection photos.

To the five guys who use pinterest, take notes!

Funny pictures about Homegoods Pillow On Comforting Women. Oh, and cool pics about Homegoods Pillow On Comforting Women. Also, Homegoods Pillow On Comforting Women photos.

And trolled people. All the trolling you could have done.

12 Funny Texts You Missed While You Were Sleeping

Today's Housekeeping Tip:  "Always keep several get well cards on the mantel.  That way, if unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean."  LOL!

Today’s Housekeeping Tip: Keep strategically placed get well cards on your mantel… Too funny. and a great idea'

Sometimes it is better to burn that bridge so you are not tempted to cross back over it

Someyimes, burning bridges isn't a bad thing. It prevents you from going back to a place you should never have been to begin with.