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Gifts for New Squeezes: Things aren’t serious. At least not yet, but you’d like things to begin heating up in these winter months. Here are some gifts that might get that fire lit.

Gifts for Local Notables: We’re not saying that you need to get gifts for the important people in our region, but if you want to, here are some ideas. Or, maybe there are people on your list that remind you of these folks. Or maybe we just wanted to make up a list of silly crap to put under the trees of famous people.

Gifts for Cats and Their People: Because if you don’t get your cat(s) anything for Christmas this year, your cat(s) won’t let you forget it.

Gifts for Analog People: Call them old-fashioned or call them hip. These people like doing the things the way their parents, grandparents or even great-grandparents did. So, take note of the film canisters and John Prine records stacked around their apartment — they don’t want the next big thing.

Gifts for Doomsdayers: The end is near. Government dysfunction. Global warming. Small pox. Terrorism. Nuclear proliferation. Honey Boo Boo. And that freaky Mayan calendar is still counting down to Dec. 21, 2012. Here are a few gift ideas for the mountainmen, survivalists and doomsdayers, who will likely outlive us all.

Gifts for Your Newly Engaged Gay Friends: The fight for Referendum 74 wasn’t without some tears, but now it’s time for toasts and booze. Here are a few ways to help your now-recognized-by-the-state friends in love plan their wedding and blow off some steam in the meantime.

Gifts for Horrible Bosses: Maybe they’re incompetent, lazy, tone-deaf, short-sighted, hot-tempered or all of the above.

Gifts for Liberated Potheads: The nickname “The Evergreen State” just took on a whole new meaning, am I wrong? With the legalization of marijuana getting the thumbs up from Washington voters recently, living in our rainy, snowy, out-of-the-way state just got so much cooler. Be sure to consider the weed-curious folks on your list this year, and stock up on these fantastic pot accoutrements.

Gifts for Slobs: You know the person. The one who stacks paper on their office desk like a flammable Leaning Tower of Pisa. The one who spews dirty socks across the living room like a malodorous sprinkler. You can — you must, for the sake of our consumer-based economy — nudge this person toward the commodities of cleanliness that will help them cope with their cluttered life.

Gifts for Bleeding Hearts: What can you give to someone who only wants to give back? Someone who wishes for nothing but world peace, and means it? You can donate to any number of worthwhile local charities (and you should) — but let’s be honest, it’s just more fun to give an actual thing.