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Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.

Free and Funny Weddings Ecard: Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.

the close relatives - I can't help it! These things make me think of you all!

Funny Flirting Ecard: There are some things better left unsaid; but you can bet your sweet ass I am going to say them anyway.

Oh yes, I do.

I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm, and random shenanigans.

Oh, you want to lose 3 lbs for bikini season? I had to eat raw carrots for lunch just to squeeze back into my fat jeans. WALK AWAY.

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: Oh, you want to lose 3 lbs for bikini season? I had to eat raw carrots for lunch just to squeeze back into my fat jeans. WALK AWAY.

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