We will never, “descend upon the earth below to pillage and plunder.” Not even if Loki says we do.

Loki and Mr. Stark are reminded that it is prohibited to reprogram the Helicarrier’s intranet dictionary to display “Thor Odinson” and show Thor’s ID photo as the definition of the word “gullible.

Loki is not permitted to paint, plaster, draw, engrave, stick, or otherwise place a bullseye on the person of any S.H.I.E.L.D. employee.

[Submitted by: iseulttoinjury Personnel should be reminded that it is inappropriate to tell new recruits that the Helicarrier was infested with snakes until Director Fury “dealt” with them.

Thor and Loki are reminded that no Norse dialect, Anglo-Saxon, and/or runes are appropriate for official S.H.I.E.L.D. communications and documents. Logan Howlett is reminded that we don’t appreciate Japanese or haikus, either.

MEMO Agent Barton is reminded that, though it is sweet that he is attempting to play nicely with the Young Avengers, he should ask them before involving them all in some weird Robin Hood game and.

AGENT WILSON

Memo from Fury: Using Agent Wilson as a reusable sacrifice, Loki’s pointy object privileges and punishment for showing Loki ‘The Dark Knight’

If Loki would please come and return their "sister" to her usual male state, it would be appreciated.

Loki is no longer allowed to 'gift' the Avengers with 'new costumes' for Halloween. In addition, if Loki would please come and return their "sister" to her usual male state it, would be appreciated.

Natasha released all SHIELD's files onto the internet, so WHY DON'T WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN BUDAPEST??

I don't think marvel planned on the fandom making such a big deal about Budapest

Hilarious Memos from the Desk of Nick Fury

Hilarious Memos from the Desk of Nick Fury

Yes please, just a Black Widow movie at least!

Requirement for the "Black Widow" trailer<<<<<<<SPREAD THIS. SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE!<<<<I like the idea of her doing a Russian lullaby instead, however, there is a lullaby version of it, (isty bitsy spider) and she could sing it in Russian.

That last one will kill me. Imagine Wanda, fresh out of the Raft, where she was literally tortured, meeting Groot and him handing her a little flower like "it's okay you're still beautiful..." *dies*

Imagine Wanda, fresh out of the Raft, where she was literally tortured, meeting Groot and him handing her a little flower like "it's okay you're still beautiful.

No matter what Mr. Stark says, Friday is NOT the international holiday “Iron Man Christmas”. No agents will be given vacation or sick days on Friday so you can go see Mr. Stark’s new movie. And to answer your questions now, yes, I have seen the movie...

[SHIELD employees are discouraged from forming a band, and are not to use their paid time for band practice. ETA: ‘Nick Fury’s Missing Eye’ is not an appropriate band name. ETAA: ‘Nick Fury’s Missing.

DON'T play RISK with Steve Rogers!

DON'T play RISK with Steve Rogers<--- is no one going to point out the ironic part. Steve stopped someone from taking over the whole world in real life, but now he is the one taking over the whole world

Memos form Fury: Mr Stark is hereby banned from attempting a career in politics because  I do not want to see the world according to Tony Stark.

Mr Stark is hereby banned from attempting a career in politics because he thinks he ‘could do it better’. The President of the United States is, nominally, the most powerful person in the world. I do not want to see the world according to Tony Stark

Memos form Fury: being Assistant to Loki comes under the 'Flagrant Acts of Dumbassery' clause which rules all claims to medical assistance and compensation invalid.

If you willingly offer yourself as Assistant to Loki as part of his magic act in the ‘SHIELD Got’s Talent’ show, any injuries will not be covered under the SHIELD Health Policy, as this comes under 'Flagrant Acts of Dumbassery’ clause which rules all.

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