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My milkshake brings all the emotionally dysfunctional selfish narcissistic alcoholics with mommy issues to the yard

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Why is it when a certain coworker goes on vacation I feel like I am on vacation? Would she be talking abt the boss?

Sometimes I wonder what she has that I don't. And then I realize, probably herpes. | Breakup Ecard | someecards.com

Funny Breakup Ecard: Sometimes I wonder what she has that I dont. And then I realize, probably herpes.

best friends

Free and Funny Breakup Ecard: good friends offer advice and words of wisdom. Real friends come over unannounced with vodka, chocolate, glitter, duct tape, cat suits & explosives!

For all the Single Christian Girls who are waiting on God's special timing for them...

Funny Confession Ecard: No I am not single. I am in a long distance relationship because my boyfriend lives in the future. (My Life)

How I've learned to stay calm all the time. #nostress #dontbelieveinit

Anxiety and Stress are caused by giving a shit.Take a dose of Fuck it, forget it and move on, which is probably better advice than the doctor gave me!

Should have listened to dopey when she was telling me what a loser you were when I met her in the kitchen of the house. Oops, too late now.

Funny Breakup Ecard: I deserve a medal for staying with you as long as i did. maybe i should've listened to the 5874 people that told me your were a shitty human being.

Bwahaha-- I HAVE to do this!!!

Free, Courtesy Hello Ecard: when your phone rings private answer it "Greg's Sperm Bank. You spank it. We bank it!" I bet they hang up on u!

Yup how i feel with my job! Lol

You mind if I leave early boss? I'm coming down with a bad case of f*ck this place /// epidemic.

I only have three choice wisely.

I have three sides. The quiet and sweet side. The fun and crazy side. The side you never want to see.

Im in love with my bed

ecard // i'm in love with my bed // alarm clock jealous whore // sleep

Who wouldnt let you steal bill money after getting away with not paying ANYTHING for so long. Mooch

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I'm not really a bitch.I'm just a woman with a backbone.

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