"If you break someone's heart and they still talk to you with the same excitement and respect, believe me they really love you." It's really dumb it takes breaking up to realize that though. And they don't deserve that.
I have made plenty of stupid and pointlessly bad decisions in my life. I have wanted to change some of them and others i quite enjoy looking back on. Sometimes being stupid leads to the best decisions and other times the worst. Learn from this.
Toxic people will hurt you and then try to make you feel bad that you are mad or hurt or upset. It's known as blame shifting. Instead of taking accountability for their own actions, they blame you got "having feelings." Abusive people do this