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I don't hate people...lol...oh who am I kidding...I fucking hate a lot of people..lol

I don't hold grudges. I remember facts. Actually I do hold grudges.

I'm not bitter but I hope you die a horrible, horrible death :P

Sorry, I'm not Adele. If I found out my Husband cheated on me or lied to me about something serious; Yup I'd set fire to'em! :) No slap on the wrist here, nor would I allow my Husband to make a laughing fool out of me!

Funny

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: Your dumb shit is what makes me want to get tanked at 11 am.

I think I've actually said this before to my husband... ouch!  I encourage him to flirt... he's gotta get some practice somewhere!  :)

Look, your husband/boyfriend is talking to another girl. I wanna see how long he can suck in his stomach.

Everyone is having babies and I'm over here like, "Look at these 500 pictures of my dog." Look at these 500 pictures of my dog.

What the hell kind of super power is that anyhow?

Forget to eat? How do you forget to eat? I can't stand girls who say this. Eat a sandwich, bitch and STFU. We all know your stomach is growling and you want to kill people.

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