I grew up feeling this way. Still feel this way many days, but my depression cannot keep me down. I fight every. I wish for things to be easy, to be strong, and sometimes it's impossible. Sometimes I just can't.
They are children, they care that their parents show-up, that when there is a Christmas recital, and they peek through the curtains – all of the people they love are there – without fighting, for the best interest of the child.