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It's better to be single than to have to worry about keeping tabs on any female

"Ladies: the day after Halloween, don't forget to buy all the discounted blood capsules to keep in your mouth when men tell you to smile.

One of my family members has CLOGGED the toilet in EVERY house they've been to. Its now a running joke that you know she loves them if she clogs their toilet

Hand soap in the bowl for 20 minutes or so works like a charm.

Close friend

True my best friend got the Holy Ghost at my church and I was sitting down close by like 😿 yes lord yessss

Fucking hated when my mum pulled this shit, you have any idea how many times I WANTED to DIE?

Someone posted a whisper in the group The Sarcastic Idiots, which reads "That awkward moment when you accidentally open your camera app "