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Funny Family Ecard: If you are going to scream like that, you better be on fire with a stick in your eye.

My daughter doesn't do that shit. And parents that allow their kids to.well I will light you on fire and put a stick in your eye!

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. | Cry For Help Ecard | someecards.com

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. And the answer is YES!

Running is not my strength

If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die. HAHAH My husband told me this yesterday. He yelled RUN SAVE YOURSELF and i looked back to see what we were running from first! He said running is your death trap uummm yup

Funny Workplace Ecard: remember when phones were stupid and people were smart? good times...

Free and Funny Workplace Ecard: remember when phones were stupid and people were smart?

This never worked for me. Ever

"I'm not shaving tonight. It's the only way to stop me from making terrible decisions. Funny thing is it always works, LOL

Wearing thin

Lol I like this it just might be my new motto. My patience is wearing thin. and by "wearing thin" I mean you are .

My give a damn is busted

shoot pack lunch dinner breakfast for the next day because its going to take a long while funny ecard

The best teenager memes - via Parentdish

My room is not dirty. I just have everything on display. Like a museum. (I live with some people who are imitating a museum. I'm not naming any names in order to protect the guilty.

Phone phobia.

Before calling me, ask yourself "Is this textable? I hate talking on the phone! Unless it's like my mom or grandparent's lol

you-want-sarcasm (6)

Free and Funny Thinking Of You Ecard: I may look calm, but in my head, I've punched you in the face 3 times.

The only way I'm eating healthy is if I write "Healthy" on top of this cake with frosting.

5 Secrets to Fitting in with the Italian Locals - http://www.whataboutitaly.com/scoop-it/5-secrets-to-fitting-in-with-the-italian-locals/

biggest pet peeve when people interrupt the middle of your sentence.

I don't have a 'honey-do' list. I have a 'I'll freaking do it myself' list. And guess what? Shit gets done.

so true! Funny Confession Ecard: I don't have a 'honey-do' list. I have a 'I'll freaking do it myself' list. And guess what? Shit gets done.

No talons, please!

Free and Funny Cry For Help Ecard: Please do not wear flip flops if your feet look like you could swoop out of the sky & snatch your dinner from a lake.

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