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Phil, this wasn't fucking amateur hour. People died because of your lack of supervision. There were raptors all up in the kitchen Phil. IN THE GOD DAMN KITCHEN.

Jurassic Park Dinosaur Supervisor +Phil, this wasn’t amateur hour. People died because of your lack of supervision. There were raptors all up in the kitchen Phil. Worst dinosaur supervisor ever.

Made me giggle ... for you drinking friends :) I already look dumb enough as it is!

Dear Alcohol, we had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer.I saw the video. We need to talk.

HATE when i do that. so awkward.

Yea, Ive done that on my phone. Or.when you accidently like a status that is totally inappropriate to like!

Guns Dont Kill People Dads with Pretty Daughters Kill People - Shirts For Dads - Skreened T-shirts, Organic Shirts, Hoodies, Kids Tees, Baby One-Pieces and Tote Bags

Let's Go Wine Tasting - The Coffee Shop - Skreened T-shirts, Organic Shirts, Hoodies, Kids Tees, Baby One-Pieces and Tote Bags

Enjoy the Best of Funny here via http://funnypicdump.com #humor

I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.

When one door closes, sometimes you want to get a hammer and nails to make sure that bitch stays shut.

My husband's wife is freakin' AWESOME! This is so true! Every wife should have this pinned. Cursing Mama says, "Sometimes the truth is awesome!

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Whisky Tango Foxtrot (37 photos)

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (WTF) by Esther Aarts. But what I really need is a Charlie Foxtrot t-shirt.

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