And they DO find out on their own. Just this last weekend, my adult son told me "Mom, I never remember you bad-mouthing my dad and you could have". It was a HUGE comfort to me to hear that. I always wanted to make sure my boys formed THEIR OWN opinions.
Deadbeat dads!! It is time to step up and be a man! Call your children and tell them sorry for being a piece of shit! Then actually stay around and be a positive force in their life! It may come to a shock to you to learn that not paying child support is a form of child neglect!
My children's narcissistic father refuses to respect his children. He is belittling, demoralizing, and undermines their ability with his cheap shots. My son became a Marine to gain his father's respect, and even though he is a SF sniper, still no respect. my ex will never change, and is more than reticent to acknowledge their accomplishments, unless it's to brag to someone else. It's a messed up family dynamic, and, news flash, I have nothing to do with the children's decisions as they are…
Advice Before Dating a Single Mom: "Believe it or not, I'm not looking for a father for my kid. I'm looking for a partner for me. If we work, then we can talk about whether you'll be a part of my kid's life. Don't just assume I'm dying for someone to be a father figure. He has a dad and it isn't you."