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“All my allowance money is in a U.S. bank and not off-shore.  So, vote for me for class president!”

“All my allowance money is in a U.S. bank and not off-shore. So, vote for me for class president!”

"I'd love to hear you endlessly complain - But my cat needs me.'

"I'd love to hear you endlessly complain - But my cat needs me.'

“Our bickering, bottle service and botox is perfect for Real Housewives.   Let’s tweet Andy Cohen!”

“Our bickering, bottle service and botox is perfect for Real Housewives. Let’s tweet Andy Cohen!”

“You’re suffering from severe political overload.  Hopefully, in a few days it will pass.”

“You’re suffering from severe political overload. Hopefully, in a few days it will pass.”

“When the going gets tough – The tough get ukuleles.”

“When the going gets tough – The tough get ukuleles.”

"I do! You do! Let's do - before the court changes it's mind."

"I do! You do! Let's do - before the court changes it's mind."

“We lost our US tech careers for being competent. So, how many incompetent people does it take to build a healthcare website?”

“We lost our US tech careers for being competent. So, how many incompetent people does it take to build a healthcare website?”

“This Thanksgiving – Let’s go camp out at Best Buy.”

“This Thanksgiving – Let’s go camp out at Best Buy.”

“Sorry about the Thanksgiving thing… But, I have to start shopping!”

“Sorry about the Thanksgiving thing… But, I have to start shopping!”

“Amazon will pay you to quit?  I’ll hire you to adopt a pet.”

“Amazon will pay you to quit? I’ll hire you to adopt a pet.”

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