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I’M OUT OF SICK DAYS, I’M CALLING IN DEAD

"yes, I'm dead and won't be coming to work today. Hopefully I'll recover soon"

Instead of sick days, they should be called 'I hate my job and would rather be dead than go in today' days.

Free, Workplace Ecard: Instead of sick days, they should be called "I hate my job and would rather be dead than go in today" days.

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Normal folks don't make memorable friends. My friends must be awkward and twisted. Thanks for being my friend.

I don't understand how some women have 20 plus bridesmaids. I don't even like that many people. | Wedding Ecard | someecards.com

this is the most accurate thing ever. I don't get the whole bridesmaid thing, period. They get people they hardly ever talk to so it looks like they actually have friends.

You don't like my tattoos? At least I can cover them up. Your face on the other hand...

Free and Funny News Ecard: You don't like my tattoos? At least I can cover them up. Your face on the other hand.

When people point at my pregnant belly and ask if I know what it's going to be, I like to say, 'We're hoping it's a baby.'

Funny Baby Ecard: When people point at my pregnant belly and ask if I know what it's going to be, I like to say, 'We're hoping it's a baby.

Next time I break my arm I am getting this. You send in a copy of your x-ray and they send back a print for your cast.

X-Ray Vision...almost.

Fun Tattoos for your cast. Want your X-Ray on your cast? Send us the digital file of your x-ray, and we’ll send you back your break in print, ready to be applied directly to your cast.

Give that mofo a reason

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