I like the way you’re thinking!
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your
Dirty Humor: The Story Of Naughty Old Harold
Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Centre to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They...
A lawyer is cross-examining a doctor on the stand.
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" Doctor: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?" Doctor: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?" Doctor: "No." Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the...
When a Escaped convict broke into a House | OfficiallyBored
goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain..
When a Photographer came to take photos of 100 year Old Twins | OfficiallyBored
sisters to sit on the sofa. The deaf sister said to her twin "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!" said the other. "Now get a little closer together" said the cameraman. Again "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE". So they wiggled up close to each other. "Just ho
You Shouldn't Be Alone
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Jenna stood up. The teacher said, "Do you
Don't Count On It
A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
When Pete’s best friend suggested him to visit Smart computer instead of a Doctor | OfficiallyBored
what you can do about the issue you’re having. It only costs $20.00.” Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $20.00. The computer started making some noise and various lig
A policeman was driving down the highway, and he heard a strange...
He pulled over the truck and said to the truck driver: "what's that noise coming from the back of your truck?" The truck driver replied: "well... #Funniest
When Husband saw Wife’s “I Have Left you” Note | OfficiallyBored
the note.After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone."She's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie.I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like."H
79 year old man gets naked when his wife doesn’t notice his cowboy...
An elderly couple, Mildred and George, moved to Texas. George always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?” Mildred looked...
The butler was trembling as she told him to take off her blouse
There was a butler named James who worked for an old decrepit Billionaire that had a smoking hot 25 year old wife. James was infatuated with her and knew she wasn’t being satisfied by ole crusty. He was caught staring at her longingly more...